Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Trying not to feed the little beastie!

So how did you all go on father’s day? I know for me, last weekend was the blow out to end all blow outs. I fed my little monster SO much that even he undoing his top button and holding up a white flag.

Why? I don’t know. I know that one of the main factors is I am extremely social coupled with the word ‘no’ just disappearing from my vocabulary. It’s a big worry. I’m mostly scared because as I frantically pulled clothes out of my wardrobe this morning but NOTHING fitted. Well some did. But not a lot – and those clothes that do still fit are either uncomfortable or give me unattractive muffin top. It is clear that I need help.

The biggest reason this upsets me is that I used to be so fit, the word NO was a normal part of life – you want pizza? NO or I’d make a healthy pizza with pita bread and veggies and minimal cheese. If I went out I drank clear alcohol with diet coke – none of this champagne and cocktails - CREAMY cocktails. I bought weight watchers deserts and jarrah low cal hot chocolate – so if I wanted dessert I didn’t succumb to full cream ice cream and banana bread. 90% of the time I ate healthy meals cooked by moi - so what went wrong? I wish I could tell you. The things I remember going wrong, were that I got sick for a while and complacent, then I house sat for an extended time and stopped going to the gym. Then I got skinny again via rigorous bootcamping – then I got fat again from hurting my back.

I went back to the gym this week. EVERYONE was so nice – so happy to see me. No one told me that I’d put on weight – even though its clear by me not fitting my clothing. My gym buddy came along with me and I was happy to have the support. Task 4 asked us to figure out where we are going to train. Definitely I will train at the gym. Granted with my back I can only do low impact – but I was still sweating up a storm and SO SORE the next few days. So tonight I’ll go back to the gym and when the 12 week challenge starts up I’ll train 6 times per week. I want to do a combination of training at the gym and outdoors.
Hungry little beastie!

It’s so scary putting on weight. I’m scared that I’ll keep piling it on. I’m afraid that I will have health problems. My back is more sore, it affects my skin, how I feel emotionally, I don’t feel attractive any more. So why is it I keep eating bad food and being lazy? I hope the 12 week challenge will help me overcome these problems. Or at least answer some of my questions. If It were only nutrition and exercise I wouldn’t have put the weight back on. I NEED to understand why I can’t keep the weight off...

My bestman (man who is best friend of Lady B) read me excerpts from the abs diet while I hurriedly finished an assessment yesterday (I leant the book to him) he said that his family can be toxic to his dieting – the book also talks about marriage/defacto relationships etc. Anything where other people can influence your day to day life basically. It rains true for me too – I love my mother she is an amazing women – but she brings home muffins and chips and various other treats which I simply can’t say no to. I KNOW it is my own fault. I don’t blame anyone but myself (I am the one shovelling it down my throat) – but for someone like me a muffin sitting on the kitchen table will play on my mind for hours until I eat it. I get overwhelmed by the craving. So I will spend this week at Lord B’s place in detox mode. I’m going to follow the crunch time diet/book so that I can prepare myself properly for the challenge.

Do you find yourself affected by other people? How do you say ‘no’ or keep your little beast at bay?


  1. What I shove in my mouth has been my 'undoing' as well, and I know that it's going to be a battle once the novelty as worn off, to keep 'denying' myself yummy things that I think I "need"/"deserve"/"can't resist". It is all mind games in my head, and I also twist that to blame others as well. (And I play the 'it's not fair' card.)

    I am thinking that I will have to use what worked for me once before - and that is to not totally deny myself. For instance, if there's something yummy that others are eating around me, if being all virtuous just isn't going to cut it, have ONE BITE of someone else's. ONE. Then stop.
    Another idea might be to give myself something else lo-fat instead.

    Another thing a friend has used to work (but may not meet with the Michelle Bridges TM approval!) - is that she's good all week, and one day of the week she eats/drinks whatever she wants. Personally I'd rather go with (extreme) moderation the whole time, rather than binge on one day... but everyone's different.

    I'm sure we will get lot's of tips and advice during the program.

  2. That's a good idea Trace, I used to give myself one cheat meal per week - so that i could enjoy myself one night per week (say saturday night dinner with friends) and not have to worry. Of course within reason - so that it wouldn't be an all out binge.

    The skinny cow dessert cups are around 90 calories, the weight watchers vary 100-120 (from memory) so you can easily budget it in. Jarrah hot choc (made on water) is only 40 calories.

    The bite thing is a good idea too - kind of like having and entree OR dessert and sharing it with a friend or your partner - that way you get to try it without the massive calorie blow out.

    If you think about it, you eat say the whole piece of banana bread (300cals). It lasts around 3 minutes then you feel guilty for 2 hours. If you have one bite(30cals), it tastes good - but you are guilt free :)

  3. Yeah it can be hard with other people..its either you feel you have to justify what you eat or they expect you to eat it.. half the time you want to eat it as well lol.

    I just try and stay true to the cause as much as I can. If things crop up I try and make allowances for it. I try not to have the all or nothing approach of days gone by.

    Plus there are so many low calorie alternatives to the full fat version.

  4. So true Kat, I am one of those 'guilty' dieters. I think - oh i must look like such a fattie if i eat that 'cake' or whatever it is. It is like by eating somehting high in calories you are confirming you are overweight to the world :)

    Definately - i bought some low cal weight watchers eclairs as a treat (335kj/79cal) which is a good alternative to the CAKE i could have eaten last night :)